A Morning-In-the-life-of Prince William, Princess Kate, And Prince George

the new royal family  Isn’t it funny how we so want to get behind the scenes of celebrity life, and especially royal life? It’s nearly absurd. I’m going to give you MY take on a morning-in-the-life-of Prince William, Princess Kate and baby Prince George. Ready; here goes:

Bloody Hell; Kate why is the baby covered in cream peas and formula?

Look if you think it’s so easy to hire a staff of nannies, get up with George, make sure everything we wear is impeccable even if we go out for a simple walk in the park then I suggest you get out of your royal sweats, and do it yourself; just so you can see what I do around here.

Oh really? Have you had to deal with my grandmother, my father, Camilla, and that whole sordid affair coupled with the pressures of being Prince William, Princess Dianna’s eldest son, the whole controversy behind her death, and how she divorced my dad, plus my brother’s exploits you’d think you had it lucky to have to just hire nannies, take a walk in beautiful clothes, and look impeccable. Boohoo Kate. Seriously Boohoo! Why do you think I started losing my hair at such an early age? You have no idea what pressure is.

Well I would just simply like to have a jammy day for once is all I’m saying. All these people running around, gardeners, nannies, butlers, maids, your family, and their stodginess I’m just tired of it. Not to mention that to walk the dog is an event unto itself. I mean, trying to pick up their poop without paparazzi catching a pic of my bum, and heaven forbid I just go out in my jammies, no makeup, and my hair uncombed! Gawd!

Oh honey, I get it. Everyone thinks it’s great to be us but gee-sh it’s far from it. It takes a special person to be able to marry into this situation, and then have a baby on top of it. I’m sorry I mentioned the George’s cute little cream peaed face. I was just making a silly comment that really didn’t mean anything. I wish we could just go out and grab some brunch at IHOP, and relax as a family. I’ve had more practice at being in the public eye then you, and it really isn’t an easy life. We’ll get through it. I can’t believe that we actually were able to find a private moment to conceive George.

I know right?

Auugghhh! burble, burble, fart.

Oh man I think George’s other end needs a clean up now too. Here can you take him? I’ve got to go to the bathroom and NOW!

Kate? Are you okay? Let me call the two nannies, and I’ll get you to bed.

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